Some Decisions Take Years to Reveal What You Really Said Yes To

Dear Insiders,

Years ago, Dr Joanne Lee signed up to become a bone marrow donor.

Then life carried on.

Some 15 to 20 years later, she got the call that she was a match.

I keep thinking about that gap.

That is enough time for your career, relationships, health, responsibilities and priorities to change completely. Yet sometimes, a decision made by an earlier version of ourselves eventually comes knocking.

We often treat commitment as automatically virtuous: keep going, follow through, don’t give up.

But growing also means recognising when our circumstances have genuinely changed.

So, when is changing your mind growth and when is it simply walking away because the commitment has become inconvenient?

There is no universal answer.

The career you once wanted may no longer suit your life. A business may no longer be worth the sacrifice. A promise that made sense years ago may need to be reconsidered.

Changing does not invalidate who you were when you made the decision.

But neither should “I’ve changed” become an excuse to abandon every difficult commitment.

Perhaps growing means learning to tell the difference.

It also makes me think about Advance Care Planning and making a Lasting Power of Attorney. We are asking our present selves to make decisions for circumstances our future selves may face.

Maybe planning for the future is not about knowing exactly who we will become.

It is about making the best decision we can today — and leaving room to revisit it when life changes.

Read more:

Bone Marrow Donation in Singapore: A Haematologist Who Became a Donor Explains What Really Happens

Don’t Wait Until Dementia: Why Singaporeans Should Think About ACP and LPA Earlier

“Growing means knowing which commitments still matter and which ones we have genuinely outgrown.”